Sometimes I wonder…
Am I living among aliens?
Or perhaps I am the alien?
I observe everyday life…
The people around me…
I wonder “aha that’s what it’s like?”
I hear people’s stories of the things that go on,
Behavior unknowing to me….
Yet normal for everyone else…
Sometimes I feel completely clueless as to what the etiquette is…
What do you say?
What does this thing mean or that?
I clearly do not know.
I do not live in that world.
I live in my individual world where there is no such thing…
A way to do, be, something specific to say, a fixed route, routine.
When I realize this and look around sometimes it scares me…
Deeply…
As I do not know what it is…
What to expect…
It is completely unknown to me…
It frightens me deep in my bones,
As it’s almost as if I have no idea where I am…
Such an alien place…
It creates sadness…
Unrest…
Then…
I remember who I am…
Maybe it’s all a symptom of being yourself…
I ground myself within myself…
I be my uniqueness…
Unaffected by what everyone else is doing…
Immersed in my creativity…
And the weaving of that that does not yet exist…
Then it all switches…
I no longer feel uncomfortable within others skin…
It does not matter as I am beyond comfortable within my own…
Life becomes interesting…
Fascinating…
Beautiful…
People an interesting species to observe…
The diversity…
It becomes more like an adventure…
Like I am travelling in foreign countries my whole life…
Experiencing new things which perhaps for others is normal everyday life but for me…it’s brand new…
That normal is different to me…
Emotions…feelings…thoughts…beliefs….
I bounce back into feeling uncomfortable & a wee bit scared,
To feeling at awe…
Grateful to be living in such an amazing place…
One thing I do know is it does not frighten me away from being myself,
That is the only thing I deeply know,
That is familiar,
Everything else changes around me…
It fluctuates…
Environments, people, life, constantly moving…
& that is beautiful…
As long as I am being myself…
I can allow everything else around me to be…
As different, unique, or same as it pleases…
At times diving under water feeling comfortable…
& Other times…
On the surface above the water uncomfortable with a whole unknown world beneath me…