“I don’t feel alone, I want to be left alone” something I had written a few years back…see, when you are individual as I, your core… your strength comes from deep within you….it doesn’t come from out there…it is not strength in numbers…it doesn’t mean I don’t like the collective or I don’t like the tribal…groups of people…not at all…its beautiful…it’s just not me…my expression…my spirit comes from within me…spending time with myself…alone…being present with each moment of life…
What a word “alone,” ah, humans…when I am alone with self I could never feel alone…I am not, I have me…all of me…when just with self I am with everything…even with you…it doesn’t mean I don’t love the other…it doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy time with the other…but its brief…just like you spend most of your time in the company of the other…for me as an individual I spend most of my time with self…
There is no right and wrong…I wouldn’t be me and all that you love if not…I wouldn’t have anything to give…the gift I am comes from my aloneness…from my individuality…its was always funny to me the need for people to be around others…how much time they spend around others…well just imagine that need to be just with self…that what you get from being around others, from groups of people I receive that from self….
The time normally spent communicating with others is spent communicating with self… the time being with others is spent being with self…no matter how much I love them…
I thrive in my aloneness…I am never alone…because in that time I am alone with life itself…even if I am not with you in aura it does not mean I cannot feel you…it does not mean I am not aware…on the contrary I am more aware…I do not need the other to find my awareness…it is discovered within myself…this is a time where I can be with self and be deeply with you…with life…intimately…
I am being with life itself…with all life… centered…within…life breathing out from within…so that you may receive me…not what I am around others…that’s not me…you see this way you get all of me…the product of time spent alone or you get just me with you alone…where I share myself entirely with you…directly or indirectly…my full heart and soul…
…If I did not spend so much time in aloneness…I would have no photos, no stories, no fairy tales…no music sets…I would have no empowerment to give you…no wisdom to share with you…It all comes from within me…from just being…that moment with my body…getting to know every inch of it…recognizing it…listening to its wisdom…so it can guide me through life…in silence… I do not require anything more…I am my own center…
No matter how correct you are for me…no matter how special…sometimes I can be there with you and others not….yet what you might not acknowledge is that I am there with you always…my roots can connect with yours…because they have traveled long distances…but my roots grow…they grow through me….through my body…I am part of the forest but I have my own roots…my own body…so that my voice…my growth…does not come from out there….not from you…my voice and growth like my roots and body grow from within me….
Some people do not recognize the power…and immense beauty of each tree when they see one here and there scattered across the land…they only see them when they are right there standing among the forest…and even then they do not see the tree, they see the forest…but they forget standing there that its each tree that makes the forest…that breathes oxygen…what brings life…what makes life possible… what makes everything possible…